On Justin Bieber’s New Album, Marriage Never Sounded So Terrible!

Bieber’s 21-track LP arrives amid a media frenzy over the health of his marriage to Hailey. After a quick listen, I’m not convinced Swag will quiet any speculation...

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On Justin Bieber’s New Album, Marriage Never Sounded So Terrible!

For the first time in four years, Justin Bieber has released an album. Swag, a 21-track LP, has arrived after very little promotion (read: a few billboards that went up on Thursday) and amid a media feeding frenzy thanks to Bieber’s fallout from ex-manager, Scooter Braun, bizarre posts on social media, persistent rumors of financial ruin, and public speculation about the health of his marriage to wife, Hailey Bieber. Well, after a quick listen, I’m not sure Swag will do much to quell the latter…

According to a statement released with the album, Swag was inspired by the Grammy winner’s “devotion as a husband and father” and “this new era of music has fueled a deeper perspective and more reflective sound, resulting in some of his most personal music yet.” Personal, I think, is an understatement.

Take “Walking Away,” a track that sees Bieber singing about a partner “throwing stones at [his] back” when he’s “defenseless.”

“Girl, we better stop before we say some shit,” he warns. “We’ve been testing our patience, I think we better off if we just take a break and remember what grace is.” OK! Then, on the chorus, Bieber hints at a promise that he’d “change” and “growing pains” but affirms that he’s not walking away: “You were my diamond / Gave you a ring / I made you a promise. I told you, ‘I’d change’ / It’s just human nature / These growing pains / And baby, I ain’t walking away.”

Similar ruminations are heard on “Daisies,” in which Bieber confesses that he’s “throwin’ petals like, ‘Do you love me or not?’” Here’s the first verse: “Head is spinnin’, and it don’t know when to stop /  You said ‘Forever,’ babe, did you mean it or not? / And if it ain’t right, babe, you know I respect it / But if you need time, just take your time.”

Now, it’s not all bad. On “Go Baby,” Bieber calls his wife “iconic” with her “iPhone case [with] lip gloss in it.” Bummer that her new lip gloss chain didn’t get its own dedication…

Of course, no one should be surprised that the Biebers’ ups and downs are detailed on Swag. He regularly offers hints of them on Instagram. Most recently, when Mrs. Bieber appeared on the cover of Vogue, he very notably wrote:

“Yo this reminds me when Hailey and I got into a huge fight. I told Hails that she would never be on the cover of Vogue. Yikes I know, so mean. For some reason because I felt so disrespected. I thought I gotta get even. I think as we mature we realize that we’re not helping anything by getting even we’re honestly just prolonging what we really want which is intimacy and connection.”

Man, marriage has never sounded so fun!


  • So, Tom Brady‘s reps will not confirm or deny his “summer fling” with Sofia Vergara, but they’ll deny the report that he thought she was “too old” for him? OK! [Page Six]
  • Ed Sheeran claims his wife can “kill” new music of his if she’s in a bad mood. Dare I say she needs to be in a bad mood more often? [People]
  • Paging The Pitt writers: Not including Tracy Ifeachor in Season 2 is grounds to put you all in the ER. [Variety]
  • The Obamas and Larry David are collaborating on a TV show for HBO. That’ll fix America! [Daily Mail]
  • There’s a sequel to the Road House reboot? Hell. Hollywood is hell. [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • Scheana Shay might’ve just secured her spot on the next season of The Valley…[TMZ]
  • Becca Tilley and Haley Kiyoko are engaged! [Us Weekly]
  • Beyoncé‘s floating convertible has been replaced by a golden horse. [Just Jared]

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